After 5 years as a desert creature, it’s time to say goodbye to Phoenix. While my time in the city has been great for my career and investing in my future, it really hasn’t been good on my mental health.
I don’t think Phoenix ever really felt like home. When I moved to the city, I had hopes that it would save my relationship, allow me to pursue my passions, and feel like a little slice of LA – with all the other Californians moving there. Unfortunately, the relationship didn’t last too long after the move, depression kept me from enjoying any of my passions, and even the heart of downtown always felt quiet and sterile. I struggled to connect with people and made very few friends (if you’re reading this and you’re one of the few, I love you). I always felt like I would wake up one morning and be like “Okay, vacation over. Time to drive back home to LA.”. I thought buying my townhome would make me feel more settled. It didn’t.
To be honest, the last 5 years have been really tough on my mental health. I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety. To the point where I wasn’t leaving my bed for days at a time and I would have panic attacks in public. I had multiple nervous breakdowns. I struggled with disordered eating and body dysmorphia again.
Phoenix wasn’t all bad though. The few friends I did make are amazing. It was great for my career. I was able to buy a townhome at 24 years old. I didn’t have to spend all of my 20s barely scraping by. I learned a lot about myself.
But now I work from home, my family is getting older, and I have the opportunity to be near the majority of my family and friends again. I’m so grateful for my time in Phoenix and the opportunities it has given me, but it’s time for this chapter to close.
The next time I post, I’ll be in LA.